Child custody and child visitation are among the most stressful issues that people face in family law.  You’ll find information and links on our site that may help you figure out your direction about child custody and visitation in Hawaii.

Doi/Luke, Islandlawyers is located in Honolulu, Hawaii, and have helped people with custody over the last 25+ years.  We have handled countless custody cases in divorces, paternities, TROs, child welfare cases, and other child proceedings. If you have questions not covered here, see our Legal Information page, or give us a call at (808) 593-2199 and schedule a consult.

 

CHILD CUSTODY

WHO GETS CUSTODY OF OUR CHILD?

Child custody and visitation in Hawai’i is based upon the best interests of the child. If you are involved in a custody dispute, you will hear this term many, many times. It simply means that custody is not given to reward a parent, or to punish the other parent. Rather, the Court focuses on what is best for the child. Two areas of custody need to be addressed: physical custody and legal custody.

• Physical custody

Physical custody is the type of custody that people normally think of when thinking about custody; this decides with whom the child primarily lives. This can be SOLE, JOINT/SHARED, or have EXTENSIVE VISITATION.  Sole (or “primary”) is where the child lives primarily with one parent.  Joint/shared is where the child divides time between both parents.  Between those is EXTENSIVE VISITATION, where one parent has sole physical, but the other parent has greater than normal visitation. (usually more than 143 days)  If one parent has sole physical custody, the other parent is normally said to have visitation. (see discussion on visitation below). Child support is based upon physical custody, not legal custody.

• Legal custody

Legal custody concerns who makes the major decisions regarding the child. Generally, this involves major medical, educational, and religious decisions for the child. This includes consent for a driver’s permit, joining the military or getting married under 18, or an underage work permit. Legal custody can be sole or joint. Note that legal custody does not affect child support — child support is tied in to physical custody only.

WHO HAS THE PHYSICAL/LEGAL CUSTODY – JOINT OR SOLE?

Both physical and legal custody can be awarded solely to one parent, or jointly to both parents. Regarding physical custody, for example, one parent may have sole physical custody with the other parent having visitation. Alternatively, the parents may have joint physical custody, with both parents have approximately equal time with the child(ren). In legal custody, one party may have sole legal, or the parents may have joint legal, sharing decision making authority. In the case of joint physical custody, there are a number of different ways that parents can equally share in their time with the children. This graphic shows some different examples of equal time sharing schedules.

IF MY SPOUSE/EX HAS CUSTODY – DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE NO RIGHTS?

This is a common misunderstanding among people involved in custody disputes. Even if one parent has sole legal/physical custody, the other party still has rights as a parent. Unless there is an adoption proceeding or a Child Protective Service action terminating that person’s parental rights, that person will always be the child’s parent. This means, among other rights, they are entitled to a relationship with their child, the right to visit with their child, the right to have phone contact with their child, and the right to have information about how their child is doing.

The end of the relationship between the adults does not, and should not mean the end of the parent-child relationship. It is unfortunate that many individuals become so caught up in their disputes that they lose sight of this.

FIGHTING CUSTODY

Fighting over child custody, as any family lawyer in Hawaii will tell you, is one of the most contentious and ugly issues that divorcing/separating parents face.  The cost is high in terms of money, stress to the parents, time, and stress to the child.  It is important to remember that when the dust clears from any divorce or paternity custody fight, the two parents will still be the parents of that child, and will need to interact with each other for years to come.

 

CHILD VISITATION

IF ONE PARENT HAS PHYSICAL CUSTODY, WHAT KIND OF CONTACT DOES THE OTHER PARENT GET?

Generally, the parent who does not have custody receives reasonable visitation with their child. Often times, however, there are disputes as to exactly what is reasonable.   Keep in mind that family courts, judges, counselors, and other child experts across the country believe that it is in children’s best interests to have BOTH parents actively involved in their lives, where possible. Visitation that exceeds 143 days per year is said to be extensive visitation. In some cases, a specific visitation schedule is spelled out, and in other cases, the specifics of visitation are left to the parents to work out themselves. (i.e. by “mutual agreement”)

While the Family Court has guidelines for visitation schedules, they are only guidelines, and a wide variety of schedules can be worked out. The fact is that the above Family Court guidelines are exactly that – guidelines.  They were not issued by the Court intending to be “standard” visitation

WHAT IS SUPERVISED VISITATION?

Supervised visitation is an arrangement where the non-custodial parent’s visitation must be supervised by a third-party. Supervised visitation may be ordered where a parent poses potential harm or is unable to properly care for the child. The third-party supervisor might be a relative or family friend, or might be the Parents And Children Together (“PACT”) Visitation Center.

 

RESOURCES FOR PARTIES TRYING TO RESOLVE CHILD CUSTODY AND VISITATION DISPUTES

Rather than stressful and costly custody fights, parents splitting up should consider other options to solve their dispute amicably.  These resources include:

• Mediation:  a common alternative to Court, mediation is essentially negotiation between the parties, but with a “referee” – specifically, a mediator.  A skilled mediator attempts to help the parties focus on resolving their problem, steering them away from their anger.  The goal is to help the parties come up with mutually acceptable options and solutions. Some parties find mediation through the Mediation Center of the Pacific, which is low-cost and staffed with volunteer mediators, while other parties hire professional mediators.

• Counseling:  some parties find it helpful to try resolution with the help of an individual counselor, or a marriage counselor.

• Parent counseling:  different from standard counseling, parent counseling helps two parents (usually parents who have significant difficulties getting along or communicating) to focus on setting aside their anger at each other, and making the best decisions for their child.  Frequently, parent counselors meet with each parent separately, to minimize anger and/or confrontation.  Similar to this is parent coordination, but parent coordinators typically are empowered to actually make tie breaking decisions when the parents are unable to do so; parent counseling does not involve the counselor making such a decision.

 

WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH MY CHILD CUSTODY OR VISITATION?

Doi/Luke is located in Honolulu, Hawaii, but have helped people throughout the State of Hawaii with their child custody matters.  We are happy to sit down with you, to talk about your rights and responsibilities in child custody.

If you would like to talk to an experienced Hawaii family lawyer to set up a consult, please e-mail or call us at (808) 593-2199.

 

FURTHER READING ON CHILD CUSTODY AND VISITATION

Modifying or Enforcing Family Court Orders in Hawaii

The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act – UCCJEA

Custody Evaluators, Fact Finders, and the Custody Investigation Unit – Determining Custody in the Hawaii Family Courts

The Hague Abduction Convention

Custody Exchanges Often a Flashpoint for Anger

Custody Disputes Between States/Countries

New Website for Hawaii Family Court’s Kids First Program

Protection from Parental Disputes

Three More Countries Sign on to Hague Child Abduction Treaty